Uitspraken

Lulo's Law:
Liefde is eeuwig, alleen de partners veranderen.

Conway's Law:
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

Dolly Parton:
Je moest eens weten hoeveel geld het kost om er zo goedkoop uit te zien als ik!

Gerrij Stuut:
We hebben toendertijd alles gedaan wat iemand kan bedenken, maar dat had geen resultaat.

Henrik Tikkanen
Truly grat madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.

MAFIA
[Acronym for Mechanized Applications in Forced Insurance Accounting.]
An extensive network with many on-line and offshore subsystems running under OS, DOS, and IOS. MAFIA documentation is rather scanty, and the MAFIA sales office exhibits that testy reluctance to bona fide inquiries which is the hallmark of so many DP operations. From the little that has seeped out, it would appear that MAFIA operates under a non-standard protocol, OMERTA, a tight-lipped variant of SNA, in which extended handshakes also perform complex security functions. The known timesharing aspects of MAFIA point to a more than usually autocratic operating system. Screen prompts carry an imperative, nonrefusable weighting (most menus offer simple YES/YES options, defaulting to YES) that precludes indifference or delay. Uniquely, all editing under MAFIA is performed centrally, using a powerful rubout feature capable of erasing files, filors, filees, and entire nodal aggravations.
-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"

Marvin Kitman
If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?

Parker's Law
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone

Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
The Psblurtex is an 18-inch long anaconda that hides in the gentlemen's outfitting departments of Amazonian stores and is often bought by mistake since its colors are those of the London Reform Club. Once tied around its victim's neck, it strangles him gently and then claims the insurance before running off to Germany where it lives in hiding.

Anonymous:
It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Wij zijn goed bezig!

Linux is like tepee: No Windows, no Gates, and apache inside.

Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected.
Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterward.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance between the above views and those of my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this article.)

Yoda
When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not. Hm?

Mon Mothma
Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

Darth Vader:
Luke... Help me take this mask off.
Do they have a code clearance?

Admiral Piett:
It's an older code, sir, but it checks out. I was about to clear them.

Asta Nielsen
Greta Garbo is absoluut talentloos

Dave Barry, "The Snake"
My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to measure, then we picked up the amplifier and backed up to my bedroom door. Then we rushed forward, shouting "The WHO! The WHO!" and we launched my amplifier perfectly, as though we had been doing it all our lives, clean through the window and down onto the sidewalk, where a small but appreciative crowd had gathered. I would like to be able to say that this was a symbolic act, an effort on my part to break cleanly away from one state in my life and move on to another, but the truth is, Cooper and I really just wanted to find out what it would sound like. It sounded OK.

Greta Garbo
Nielsen leerde mij alles wat ik weet

Domme Zaandammer op straat tegen een vriend
Ik heb nu een internetsnelheid van 10..... eehhhh..... MegaDinges..... nouja, van 10 dus.

Kogelvis op de Gedempte Gracht in Zaandam
Hey, mag je hier fietsen?

Kogelvis @ Ebbehout
Fijne avond!

Serocki's Stricture
Marriage is always a bachelor's last option.

Stories

Managers, techneuten en hete lucht. De verdwaalde man in een luchtballon.

Links

Schedule of makers and managers